Biological clocks...and the men who try to get around them.

A couple of weeks ago I met a very nice guy on Craig's List - during that time we talked MANY hours on the phone, which is not normal for me. Let me just say that I don't "fall in love" or even "fall in LIKE" very often...but he seemed really special. He was 50 (to my 54), funny, intelligent, interesting, sensitive, etc. etc. etc. He'd even run a comedy club in the past so we had comedy in common!

We were supposed to meet this weekend and, I must say, I was really looking forward to it.

That is until Saturday morning when I got an e-mail saying, basically, that he was really sorry but after hearing me talk about my sons he realized how much he wanted his own children and so it probably wouldn't work out for us. To put it mildly, I was crushed. I've been alone for a long time - well over a decade. I usually don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to have someone special in my life...that's not a fun thing to ponder when you sleep alone every night. But this actually seemed like it might have possibilities.

I've moved from the "sad" stage into the "angry" stage now...not just angry at him (I maintain that he's a nice person or I wouldn't have been attracted in the first place...) --- but angry at ALL the men who didn't bother (for whatever reasons) to have children when it was "age appropriate," figuring that when they were ready to grow up, they could just find a younger woman and everything would work out fine.

Men, unlike women, aren't tied into that inconvenient biological clock thing. They can procreate into their 60s and beyond, as long as they can find a young lady to carry the baby.

Surprisingly, when I mentioned this to some friends, one of them said he too wanted kids and was looking for a younger woman. I wanted to whack him up side the head with a 2 by 4. Lucky for him we were in a lumber-free area...

OK - I admit to being a little sensitive on the subject of older men and younger women. (You would be too, if you were a single middle-aged woman reading personal ads where it seems like most of the guys my age are looking for women in the 25-37 age range!)

Not that people don't fall in love with someone outside their own generaton (one of my very best friends is a widow who was married for over 20 years to a man much older than she and they had a great marriage) -- but this isn't about someone who just happens to fall in love with someone a lot younger. This is about a man making a conscious decision to look for a woman young enough (or darn close!) to be his daughter.

I find this offensive whatever their reason: whether it makes them feel young (not going to make them look any younger though, is it??), makes them feel more virile (yeah, right...), because they think younger women are easier to control (well, we older women have taken enough bollocks from men and aren't interested in doing it any more)...or they've finally decided they're ready to be a daddy (when becoming a "granddaddy" might be more appropriate).

For what it's worth, apparently it's not that easy for these guys to actually FIND a younger woman willing to play along, according to my friend.

I know - it breaks my heart too.